BIG NEWS! I, Taylor Willis, am a proud new parent and I am very happy to announce the adoption of Borris G. Willis. Borris was born in 1995 and has been living in Port Angeles with old people for the majority of his life. The old people were very good to Borris, always washing him and making sure he gleamed with pride. Later on, Borris was given to a student on his way off to college and off Borris went too, to Eastern Washington. There, Borris learned a lot and gained many miles with the long tedious trips across the state of Washington. Poor Borris wasn't good enough for this college student though, and Borris was relocated back to PA until a new guardian was obtained. And guess who found him next....ME! Oh Borris, I love you and your antiqueness and all your weird quirks... from the dents in your doors to the mysterious stains on your seat belts... I just know we are going to have some stellar times together and I am looking forward to it (as long as you don't break down on me)! Yes, I Taylor Willis, finally got my first car! See you tomorrow Borris!
( napoleon dynamite "yyyyyyeeeeesssssss"!)