I T is currently fifteen degrees outside, snow still on the ground from the last two dumps mother nature so kindly provided. I have been dreading the first snow fall all autumn because I knew I would have to drive in it, but luckily I have been able to pick up it up pretty fast and feel comfortable driving now. It's near the end of the semester and it is pretty exciting to see everything drawing to a close. It is also pretty stressful thinking about the hours and hours of work I have to do in the mean time. I still have to: build a pinewood derby car for a class ( I can not wait to show you my unconventional design for this) , make a book with my photographs for another, and memorize in like fifty chapters of D&C what each are about and ace a ridiculously thorough final on it. I am glad I took a lighter load this semester, though disappointed that I didn't get my application in for the VA program. A lot of "stuff"(I like to just group it all together and put it into a neutral word, makes me feel better, like I can contain it and keep it there far from me) happened over the past few months- when I get down about how much more I could have done I try to remember that there was a lot of "stuff" but that I got through it and try to look forward. Things with school are confusing but I am anxious to meet with the Graphic Design Department head next week and figure out where I stand, what I am doing, and what I need to be doing. Not being in a program is so hard because I feel like I am in transit-land and I am just floating around not particularly motivated because there is nothing out here. Therefore I will continue perfecting my portfolio and apply next semester. Ugh. Work is good. My co-workers are all pleasant, the atmosphere of the restaurant is generally friendly and uplifting, I enjoy working with a team towards a common goal, I am always around delicious food that so much effort gets put into, and it's fun. I like work because I can see progress there, whereas in most areas of my life progression is not easy to measure because it is over an extended period of time. But at work, in a few months I went from delivering food to tables I had to look at a map to find to getting forty dollar tips and high scores on my eval. It's great to work hard and then see it pay off right in front of you, it's like "hey yes you can!", it makes me want to do a better job because of that. I love that I can leave everything behind and for a few hours focus all my attentions on facilitating someone in having the best dinning experience possible. I am also getting better at small talk- something I lack all skill in when not motivated- but I love strangers and I love spending time with them and trying to learn a little piece of people's stories. Plus the money isn't a bad thing either. It feels good to support myself (when I actually can). I always feel like I need to move. I like my room but I wouldn't mind a new apartment, a new ward, a new state, a new country... I need to stop watching parisian movies from the sixties. MOVIES. I have had a lot of time to myself lately and cinema has been my outlet. If you ever need any movie suggestions beyond your usual, let me be your guide. I have also been eating a lot of wraps lately. And I recently tried tae bo which is harder than it sounds. Also, gym memberships are expensive and they make you sign contracts-gross. I am excited to be heading home to Sequim for a few days during Christmas ( although I won't be getting the New Year's Eve in Seattle I had been dreaming of since last NYE)- a change in scenery will be lovely- and I am ready to be around lots of people who know and love me. I spend too much time alone and I'm starting to like it, which is worrying me. I have definitely become more independent this year. I feel like I can do anything, more or less, and I can do it on my own. I guess it is all part of the maturing process and coming into adulthood blah blah blah . Speaking of which, I am only nine days away from never being a teenager again and on into the land of the terrible twenty somethings. Bon voyage.
I hadn't updated in a while and thought it necessary for my posterity. Sorry for the overly-informational dump. At least I didn't try to sound like Hemingway this time right?